Let's talk about loneliness: part one

Last updated 13 June 2022

Loren, our young volunteer, answers other young people's questions about loneliness.

Hi, I'm Loren, one of the young volunteers at the British Red Cross. As part of this loneliness project a group of us have been creating and developing resources we think might help other young people understand and tackle loneliness. I chose to create this blog because I’ve been there! I know how hard feeling lonely can be, but also I know that it won’t feel this way forever and that there is so much support out there.

By writing this blog I hope to shed some light on feelings commonly felt by young people.

All answers, reflections and suggestions are written by young people based on lived experience, with help from the psychosocial team at the British Red Cross.

You can also access free information and activities developed by the British Red Cross to help reduce loneliness. 

I hope this helps you too.

What types of people are most likely to feel lonely?

Loneliness is a part of life, and it is important to validate and acknowledge it rather than judge or assume the reasons people feel this way. Emotions are our body’s way of telling us what we are lacking in our lives in the same way that if you feel hungry, you probably need some food.

Some factors that might increase someone’s feelings of loneliness include having high levels of anxiety, being socially isolated or experiencing a major life event. This could mean moving to a new area, being a new parent or just coming out of hospital. Someone could relate to all or none of these things but still feel lonely.

One in five people experience feelings of loneliness. People who are more marginalised tend to feel more lonely too, like those without an internet connection or digital skills, or people from minority communities who face discrimination. For anyone who feels lonely, it is important to know you are not alone and that there is help out there.

 

Is loneliness such an issue because humans are social creatures?

In my experience, young people are more prone to loneliness because we live very social lives. We as young people rely on our friends a lot of the time or are used to being surrounded by lots of people our own age through school or university. Some of us enjoy being with people often, but sometimes young people can feel pressured to be really social when we might just want some time to ourselves. Having external or internal pressure to fit in with friends and social groups can actually make you feel more anxious and low, which can lead to a longer-term feeling of loneliness.

Social media can help people connect with their friends and family, or people with common interests, all across the world. However, social media can also increase loneliness if it gives you unrealistic expectations of how social and interesting your life should be, if you spend a lot of time scrolling without really connecting to people or if too many people are trying to connect at once and you just can’t deal with it.

I think there can be a tendency to compare yourself to others which can make you feel under-confident and ultimately lonelier. Be mindful of keeping a healthy balance and getting familiar with your personal habits and what works for you.

Use social media as a tool to connect with people you genuinely care about but  limit how much you use it before bed or how much you use it in one day. Be aware of people or groups that start to affect your mood negatively and block or mute conversations if you need to.