Dealing with changing relationships

The relationships you have with other people will change and develop throughout your lifetime. It is important to understand the impact changes in relationships may cause you and how you can manage them.

This page will help you reflect about how relationships in your life may change and consider ways of managing changes and loss.

On this page you can learn about:

• Life changes that may affect your relationships
• Identifying and thinking about change
• Sharing positive changes
• Coping with loss

All changes in life, good or bad, affect you and your relationships. Here are examples of changes you may have to deal with:

• new relationships, e.g. new jobs, becoming parents
• loss e.g. bereavements, divorce, redundancy, retirement, bankruptcy
• change in situation eg. having a baby, moving in together, or being evicted and becoming homeless
• life event e.g. accidents, traumatic event, graduating from education, getting married
• professional development e.g. academic or professional successes and disappointments

With some of these your role in society may change too. It can be difficult to deal with this change, especially if it was unexpected and you had little control over it. Or, if the consequences of the changes are unknown.

We have all dealt with changing relationships before in our lives, from moving between schools or workplaces to beginning or ending a relationship or friendship.

These changes can help us to reflect on the past and situations where we have managed a similar challenge before. Can you remember any situations where you have had to deal with a changing relationship?

Think about:

• How did you deal with them?
• Who helped you deal with them?
• What did you manage well in these situations?
• What would you do differently now if you could?

Activity

Watch the video and think about the following questions:

• How do they talk about their feelings?
• How does it help them to share?
• Do you think starting a conversation with someone like this would help you?

For more guidance on starting conversations about how we feel, look at our advice on building meaningful connections.

Everybody goes through changes in life, like having children, changing job, moving house, retiring, or losing someone close. People cope in different ways. You might feel upset or angry about some changes. Accepting and growing comfortable with the new situation takes time.

Do not pressure yourself to deal with or move on quickly. Loss is not always something we can just stop feeling, we just learn how to cope with it.

Support for coping with loss

When dealing with loss and change, it can help to speak to others experiencing the same thing. Are there any support groups in your area that you could join to help with your grief?

Joining an organisation or community group can help, for example Gingerbread offers support to single parent families, the Good Grief Trust can help you find local support groups in your area, or the University of the Third Age can help give you a new hobby or purpose.

You can see details of other organisations which can help deal with bereavement (the experience of someone important to us having died).

Wellbeing support

During times of change it's important to make sure you are also managing your wellbeing. Explore our full range of wellbeing activities and information or, try one of these resources that can help you develop coping skills, as well as building connections.

• Building relationships and maintaining connections
• Learn to support yourself and others
• Dealing with overcoming worries
• Resilience building activities

Self-kindness toolkit

Our free, downloadable self-kindness toolkit is packed with activities to support building resilience, coping with stress and worries, and connecting with others.